On your path to Creating love you need to realise that you can’t give what you don’t have. Love gives us joy and feelings of happiness that nothing else so far gives us.
A lot of my clients tend to expect love to come from other people. They don’t feel it inside themselves unless they can see the person giving it to them. This is an illusion because you can only really feel what is inside you.
Why is it important to love yourself anyway?
To love others you must love yourself first. Love is not a thing so it is not lost when it is given away. Love like knowledge can be shared with many people without you losing your love or your knowledge. Loving yourself is the first step to learn how to connect with other people. It is only when you know yourself fully and accept yourself are you able to extend the same courtesy to others and so we evolve and grow as human beings.
I remember first awakening to loving myself and started to make sure I did things that made me happy. I went back to dancing, cooking the food I enjoyed. I began to ask for help when I needed it because that helped me remove overwhelm and frustration from my life. As a result my husband and partner was able to provide for me because he understood my needs. I started to feel happier, more appreciative and grateful. The feelings rippled as I passed them on to everyone around me so they felt that way too.
What does loving yourself mean?
Loving yourself doesn’t imply ego-centered focus on yourself and only make sure only your needs are met at the expense of others. I have heard women saying men have to do all they ask, agree with all their choices as a sign of love, but is this really love?
Loving yourself means genuine interest in yourself as well as caring, concern and respect for yourself. To care about yourself is basic love. When you love yourself you begin to see yourself with accuracy and genuinely appreciate what you see and also get excited and challenged by the prospect of what you can become. Loving yourself is a struggle to rediscover and maintain your uniqueness. When you appreciate your uniqueness then you begin to appreciate others’. You begin to accept the value of self discovery and self love because you understand the value of it to yourself.
Not going on an adventure of self discovery is allowing dirt and decay to enter into your mind. Discovering your mind and putting it in order will help you to be a loving person, a feeling person, an intelligent person but the best outcome of this discovery is becoming the best most loving, feeling and intelligent person you’re capable of being.
How do you know you love yourself?
You don’t allow anyone including yourself to speak unkindly to you or to treat you in a way that is not acceptable to you. None of those negative self deprecating words rolling in your head anymore, thank you. When other people are abusive towards you or treat you in an unacceptable manner, you stop them, call them on it or just remove yourself from that environment. You know and expect to be treated well in the world and you treat others well as well. You also allow others to tell you how you have impacted on them whether it’s negative or positive because that is the only way for both of you to grow and flourish.
You treat your body with love and respect. You feed it well, exercise it and ensure it is healthy and feeling good. You become conscious of your needs and ensure you get them. You take time to feed your mind knowledge that helps you to keep growing your wisdom and clarity. You get inspired by all the daily changes in life because they are a sign of growth. You certainly won’t wait 2 or 10 years to get what you want.
You are kind to yourself. You ensure that you take care of yourself. You make sure that you don’t give every ounce of your energy to others while you’re sacrificing your own needs. You understand that getting help is another way of being kind to yourself and not a weakness.
You express your needs to your friends and family and receive what you are given with gratitude. You participate in life and ensure that others have an opportunity to participate in their own capacity too. You allow yourself time for rest, play, fun and just being.
You ensure others have the right and opportunity to get what they need, to feel loved and accepted and to be who they are. You see everything as part of a whole and not separate. Your faith grows because you start to experience the guidance of your Higher Self as you open yourself to receive love and joy.
Loving yourself is difficult to do because it requires consciousness, and the ability to examine and question preconceived notions. Loving yourself is a practice to taking care of you that you need to keep adjusting and tweaking as you expand and grow. Most people prefer to hide but if you allow yourself the journey and the experience your life will become richer and more fulfilling.
“Real love always creates and never destroys.” Leo Buscaglia