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Have you been hurt or treated badly by a guy. Do you wish there was something you could do to make him feel as bad as you do or worse? Songs like I will survive, Forget you, Someone I used to know and have your own pity party which most women eating buckets of ice cream and crying rivers while trashing him with our friends is what women have been doing for a long time now. All this is great but it’s also disempowering to you. You’re angry and this negative energy you’re carrying in your body will not make things better for you but instead make you feel worse. I am not saying don’t get angry at all because some men are real jerks but rather than making yourself a victim or agreeing to be a victim take ownership. You chose this man. You probably allowed him to do things you didn’t like and you didn’t make him stop. Deep down you believed that this is the way you ought to be treated. Like they say in Law Of Attraction, what you focus on expands. You can’t expect other people to treat you better than you treat yourself.

Ask yourself, are you vibrating the energy that is conducive to attracting the best person for you and if not what do you need to do to be that person? The fact that he treated you badly and broke your heart is probably because he has been allowed to behave like that by other women before.

Women are so tolerant and instead of letting go of a man who is not really good enough for you, you embark on a project to make him a better man. You make yourself a door mat and allow him to cancel on you, disrespect you, break promises and sometimes even cheat on you with another woman. Despite all this you allow him to stay in your life. The message you’re sending him is that he doesn’t need to try very hard to be with you. The reason for this is that you are afraid of being alone so having any man is better than not having one at all or you haven’t done the inner work to figure out who you are and what is important to you.

Someone told me this story when I was very young. I believe it is the best revenge story I have ever come across. There was a young man who made a teenage girl pregnant. He decided to take her to his parents’ home as if he was interested in her. He left her there so that he could go back to work. He then decided not to go back to his parents ever again lest they forced him to take her with him. The parents decided to send the girl back to school. She worked hard and did very well in her studies. She polished herself up and got a job in a bank. She was on an accelerated climb on her career because she was so talented. One day she was at the teller counter when her ex-boyfriend turned up. He couldn’t even recognise her but she did. She called him by name and told him that their son was doing great and so was she. He was shocked and being the loser that he was he even tried to ask her to forgive him and get back with him. She just looked at him and said, “I am good where I am. I deserve better than you. Thankfully your parents are great people and they helped me. You should go see them because they miss you.”

This man lost something that day. He realised he had been wrong. This girl was not the loser he thought she was. She had just been young and he had taken advantage of that. Her success would haunt him for a long time. He also learnt to respect that woman and know he was the bad guy.

So now if you discover he’s been a jerk to you and you finally decide to get rid of him, what is the best revenge? The first thing is to reclaim your power. You do this by not looking back and focusing on what he is or is not doing. If he has moved on too quickly that is not your problem now. Start to get yourself ready to meet the right man for you. Focus on the type of man you feel you deserve in your life. You visualise meeting him, spending time doing what you enjoy with him and having fun with him.  Isn’t that better than wasting your energy focusing on him?

Start practising love towards yourself. Do things to pamper yourself, go for a massage or whatever it is that defines pampering to you. You are sending the message to the Universe that you want and deserve love so the Universe will send along the right person towards you. Do those things that you enjoy and that make your heart sing. Be the person you want to meet, that is start practising those qualities you want in a man. Be caring, honest, grateful, joyous, kind, and compassionate and all those qualities you value. Pay attention to yourself and your needs.

When you spend time carrying anger and resentment towards that man you are setting yourself up for rejection over and over because you’re giving your power over to him. When you meet him and he doesn’t look as heartbroken as you feel you have given the key to your happiness to him. Every minute you spend thinking about him is time you spend closing your heart from opening up and meeting someone else who could be your soulmate. How would he feel if he was to meet you looking fabulous, happy, joyful and carefree? If you look like you’re doing better than you were before that is a right kick in the …………. Now to me that is the best revenge.