There are many ideas that come through the media like January 19th is Depression day because most people have stopped doing their new year’s resolutions and they feel bad about it or that January 4th is divorce day. It is the day most couples file for divorce because of the added stress from the holidays and Christmas would have been the last straw.
I would think spending time together would make couples feel closer but that is not the case according to research. I find this very sad. Why do I find this sad? Because it doesn’t have to be that way at all. We have all bought into this Brule or Bull shit rule according to Vishen Lakhiani, that couples have to take out all the stress on each other. That love only lasts for a very short time and then it sucks and that love is frustrating and painful.
What if I were to tell you that there is another way and it is not finding another partner at all. Actually research has shown that even though in most Western countries 50% of first marriages end in divorce 63 % of second and 72% of third marriages also end in divorce.
In other words you can’t get rid of your problems by running away from them. I used to think running and finding someone else was the answer too. You need to do something about the problems or issues and it is not what you think.
Start by being authentic to yourself. What do you value? What is important to you? Why is this relationship important to you? Why is this issue important to you? Are you just reacting to your triggers or is there a real issue? Is the injustice you feel because you kept quiet about another issue and built resentment towards your partner that everything they do makes you upset? Are you being loyal to your values or are you betraying yourself by settling? After reading this take pen and paper or whatever you use for writing and answer those questions. You cannot be successfully in a relationship with another person unless you know the answers to those questions.
When you know this then you will be able to stand in your truth and be who you really are. When you’re being who you are authentically everyone around you will respect that. This also gives you the freedom to allow people to be who they really are with you without feeling the need to conform to your ideals. This is real freedom and love. this is the root of unconditional love.
Whenever I found myself irritable and getting annoyed with my husband I would do something fun for myself. Sometimes it was just to hang out with my friends not to bash him but to connect and laugh at silly things, watch a comedy or spend time with my sisters or my mom. This always made me feel happy and less irritable. I know when I feel good I am more patient and generous. Try that and see what happens.
I can help you figure out why you’re standing in your way of happiness and what you can do about it so that you can enjoy your ideal relationship. I can show you how to turn your spouse into the great man you married several years ago. When I walk you through the concepts you will wonder why you never thought of them before because they are so simple to do but they will transform your life. Are you ready?……… Give me a comment if you want to explore this further.